The Day Between

Soapy Water

I like to keep warm soapy water in the sink that way dirty dishes can soak as they are made, making the dishwasher’s job that much easier.  The counters stay clean, and there is a semblance of order in the kitchen.  Many things can be made better by a little warm soapy water. 

My sons don’t see the value of warm soapy water.  They prefer mounds of dishes everywhere and escaping before being assigned to clean the kitchen.  Somehow, our three bathrooms are filled to capacity whenever the call to KP is announced.  Cleaning up a mess is not near as much fun as making one.

Raising kids is like doing the dishes.  We can wait until problems pile up becoming overwhelming and go hide in the bathroom, or we can apply some warm soapy water and let it soak.  Dealing with problems as they arise, keeping the counters clear, is more conducive to peace.

 

Sometimes no matter what you do or not do, someone is going to criticize your efforts.  No one likes criticism.  Responses to that criticism vary from anger and offense to depression and despondency.  We all want to be thought well of, appreciated, and given the benefit of the doubt.  It hurts to be criticized, especially when that criticism is a basic dislike of who and what you are.

It’s not easy being a parent, but someone has to do it.  I’m not perfect and well I know it, but I really can’t apologize for being who I am and raising my kids according to what I believe is true.  They have minds of their own, which is good, hopefully they will keep on using them and be as sure of the truth as I am.  I can’t make them that way, but I can pray for them.  I really like Psalm 1 – short and sweet and to the point:

How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers!

But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night.

He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither; and in whatever he does, he prospers.

The wicked are not so, but they are like chaff which the wind drives away.  Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous, for the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

I pray this psalm for my children.  How I long for them for them to be blessed – oh so happy!  That they wouldn’t walk in the counsel of the wicked doing and believing what this world calls success, or a good time, or wisdom.  That they wouldn’t hang out with and be one of a crowd, agreeing with and standing with sinners – partaking in destruction.  That they wouldn’t be sitting in judgment scoffing at those who try to walk right, try to follow God’s word, and try to be pleasing to the Lord.

How I pray that they would know that true happiness, fulfillment, joy, prosperity, and peace come from delighting in God, knowing His Word, and following His lead.  That they would know His promises, know His faithfulness, and know He is all they will ever need.

Somehow in the day-to-day grind of parenting they miss this – I don’t know whether it’s because I don’t know how to teach it, or that they don’t know how to receive it.  It grieves me to see them flounder.  Everything they long for and dream of is within their grasp, but I can’t give it to them.  They have to reach for it themselves.

I didn’t grow up in a Christian home.  My kids have.  Even so, the struggle somehow is the same.  I didn’t know the truth.  When it was revealed to me, and I began to understand it, I was so happy.  Finally, everything made sense.  My kids have been raised on Bible stories and Christian education, most have made professions of faith when young, but still it has to be more real to them than I can make it.  There is something at work in salvation that is beyond our control.  I grew up a heathen, but when the truth was revealed I accepted it.  My kids have grown up Christian, but that is not a guarantee that they will accept the truth they’ve been raised in.

This is terrifying.  There is no way to sugarcoat it or make it nicer.  It is simply awful.  If the salvation of my children was up to me, if taking them to church every Sunday, being involved in AWANA, youth groups, summer camps, homeschooling them, and courtship instead of dating would save them, then I could take the credit for their salvation – And I could take the blame for their lack of it.  But their salvation is not up to me.  It doesn’t depend on how good a parent or Christian example I am or have been.  It doesn’t even depend on how lousy a parent, or Christian example I’ve been.  It really isn’t up to me.  They have a free will, and they have to come to the Lord on their own.

This doesn’t mean I quit teaching, training, and doing a myriad of other good things exhorted in the Scriptures.  It doesn’t mean I ever quit loving them and praying for them.  It just means it’s out of my hands.  The results are God’s. 

I do have one advantage.  I belong to the Lord.  I’m His child.  He knows my name.  He calls me righteous.  He is faithful, and He hears my prayers.  I can have confidence that He will answer my prayers in His good and perfect time.  This means I can have confidence that each and every one of my children will end up loving and serving Him no matter how bleak it might look right now.

That soapy water is going to continue to do its job.  God saved me and He can save them too.