The Day Between

Meek or Weak?

Sometimes my life makes my left eye twitch and gives me a tension headache, but that’s only a response to marital bliss. Relationships are hard work. This is why we have pets. They don’t answer back with what we don’t want to hear. Their barks, purrs, tweets, and grunts can be interpreted pretty much however we want. Other than unintended “accidents” at inappropriate times and in unintended locations, they really aren’t too much trouble. They might smell, but they don’t offend. If only all relationships were that easy.

            I mean, why would a dating service be called Eharmony, anyway? How about Disharmony or Edissonance? An even better name would be Lock Horns and Hold On. It would be more true to the practical reality of trying to make a relationship work. After all, it is difficult to maintain a “gentle and quiet spirit” when contemplating murder. Someone said, “Can’t live with ‘em…can’t shoot ‘em!” while thinking of the opposite sex, and I understand the sentiment.

            Marriage should be undergone with caution, because the byproducts of that blessed union are sure to turn out like your spouse…or even worse – like you. This can be abundantly annoying when everyone becomes disagreeable at the same time. One can always see the other guy’s faults, and somehow those faults are magnified in our children. Of course, I’d like to think I’m pure as the driven snow, but as the Stooges would say, “You drifted!”

            I’ve been in Matthew 5 lately. Nothing like the beatitudes to make one realize how far there is to go in one’s sanctification. While mulling over all my successful relationships I notice, “Blessed are the gentle, for they shall inherit the earth.” Gentle is often translated meek. Possibly thinking of the doormat analogy someone said to me today, “Meek or weak?”

            According to D.A. Carson, meekness is a controlled desire to see the other’s interests advance ahead of one’s own. I don’t think this is a natural state for us – I know it’s not the natural state at my house. It’s hard to be gentle in a brutal world… or before having coffee in the morning.

            Dr. D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones says, “The man who is truly meek is the one who is amazed that God and man can think of him as well as they do and treat him as well as they do…Finally, I would put it like this. We are to leave everything – ourselves, our rights, our cause, our whole future – in the hands of God, and especially so if we feel we are suffering unjustly.”

            Imagine living life satisfied, not seeking our own way or desires, and looking out for the other guy’s blessing and promotion. Imagine not being offended when wronged and getting satisfaction knowing the Lord has got all our needs covered. Imagine giving our marriages to God to do with as He pleases.

            As James admonishes…But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God (James 1:19).

            Our keen displeasure and self-righteous anger does not accomplish God’s will on earth. Now, that’s a revelation! It is amazing what we get upset about, what spoils our day, and disrupts our digestion. Focusing on our agenda is not a prescription for success in God’s economy.

            Again, D.A. Carson in The Sermon on the Mount states, “Individually, each man tends to assume, without thinking, that he is at the center of the universe; therefore he relates poorly to the four billion others who are laboring under a similar delusion. But the meek man sees himself and all the others under God. Since he is poor in spirit, he does not think more highly of himself than he ought to. Therefore he is able to relate well to others.

            I’d like to get this right under my own roof with my own people before tackling those four billion.  Perspective seems to have much to do with how we treat others.  How we see ourselves, how we see others, how we see God will affect our interactions for good or ill.

            As Paul reminds us in Galatians… if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself (Galatians 6:3). And in Romans…through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment… (Romans 12:3). Also in Philippians…Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for you own personal interests, but also for the interests of others (Philippians 2:3-4).

            Back in the 1990’s, bright colored bracelets with WWJD printed on them to remind folks to ask themselves “What would Jesus do?” in whatever situation they were in were popular.  It’s a good question. Jesus told us how to live in chapters 5-7 of Matthew – and the rest of the Scriptures back it up and further illuminate it for us.  Theologians have written about and discussed those passages for a long time.

            We don’t have to be theologians, however, to understand…”In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want to be treated, for this is the Law and the Prophets (Matthew 7:12).

            Truly, Jesus is our example of meekness.  He lived it out for us. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself to the point of death, even death on a cross (Philippians 2:5-9).

            One of our pastors said Sunday that Jesus took all of the wrath our righteous God has for sin upon Himself in our place on the cross. He didn’t have to – He did it willingly.  He loves us that much – He sees us as that important. A relationship with us is that important to the Father and the Son. Because of that sacrifice believers are adopted, redeemed, forgiven, lavished with grace, joint heirs to His kingdom, and sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:2-14). If God treated mankind that way, how should we who are His treat others?

            We can’t be meek on our own or gentle in our own strength, but the same God who accomplished Ephesians 1 for us won’t give up on us when we fail. For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus (Philippians 1:6).

            So what’s a dented fender, a traffic jam, a sharp remark, an unmade bed, lack of appreciation, inconsideration, uncooperative children, thoughtlessness, angry outbursts, and trials and tribulations of all kinds? Practice – practice in being meek.