Now What?

Surrender

Some days I am fairly confident that if I were Sherlock Holmes, Isaac Newton, or Socrates I would still struggle keeping up with the mental maneuvering of my men folk at home.

It really shouldn’t be that complicated. There are, after all, only chiefs living with me, no “injuns”. Hence one of my darling savages is usually jockeying for the upper hand. If I shed that light on their behavior, most of the irritating things they do and say make sense.

The problem with my ability to cope lies in timing, lack of sleep, and lack of coffee. They give me their best shots when I am least able to repel the advance.

Don’t moms get downtime?

Isn’t 40 years of caffeine addiction portent enough?

Is there no compassion from the young and strong after ten hours of blissful repose for the middle-aged, menopausal, out-of-shape, overworked, lucky if she got six hours of restless sleep due to a mind that ruminates on an endless list of responsibilities and the state of affairs of her progeny when she crawls out of bed, bleary eyed, stumbling to the kitchen trying to remember how the coffeemaker works?

No, there is no mercy.

Moms don’t get downtime, and young males do not take ominous warning signs seriously.

This has been my fate, and I must deal with it…daily.

There’s a proverb that states, Where no oxen are, the manger is clean, but much revenue comes by the strength of the ox (Proverbs 14:4). Although this verse is probably referring to the stuff that makes for prosperity, I like to understand it as referring to the blessing of a large family. There may be a truck load of work, but the blessings make it all worth it.

 My many blessings are indeed priceless individual gifts from God, but the mess in the manger can be rough – not just physical mess, but relational mess!

We all must struggle with our own human nature – I guess. Why is it so very hard to walk worthy – be kind – forgiving – willing to yield? Does abiding in and yielding to the Holy Spirit ever come naturally?

I even made up a melody to Ephesians 4:22 to remind my offspring and myself of how we should behave, Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other…

To which one of my wise-cracking little nippers revised accordingly, Be mean to one another, short-tempered, forgetting each other…

Somehow there is usually a response to my best efforts with something I either don’t appreciate or didn’t expect.

Recently during my quiet time, I read the account of Gabriel’s visit to Mary in Luke 1:26-37:

Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man whose name was Joseph, of the descendants of David, and the virgin’s name was Mary. And coming in, he said to her, “Greetings, favored one! The Lord is with you.” But she was very perplexed at this statement, and kept pondering what kind of salutation this was. The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary; for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name Him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David; and He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and His kingdom will have no end.”

Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” The angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; and for that reason the holy Child shall be called the Son of God. And behold, even your relative Elizabeth has also conceived a son in her old age; and she who was called barren is now in her sixth month. For nothing will be impossible with God.”

That passage is familiar to us, but this revelation and its deliverer had to be jaw dropping to Mary. Nevertheless her response is amazing.

And Mary said, “Behold, the bondslave of the Lord; may it be done to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her (Matthew 1:38).

It is interesting that Mary calls herself a ‘bondslave of the Lord.’ In the epistles Paul, Peter, Jude, and James all call themselves bondslaves of the Lord. A bondslave is a slave for life by choice. This idea first appears in Exodus 21:5-6, and then again in Deuteronomy 15:16-17, where a slave set free chooses to stay with his master for life. The late Chuck Smith from Calvary Chapel in Costa Mesa teaches on this here:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBjo2bCDYbo

By calling herself a bondslave Mary acknowledges that God is sovereign over her life – she is His. Then she says, “may it be done to me according to your word.” Complete surrender and submission to the will of God – reminiscent of Isaiah’s declaration, “Here I am. Send me! (Isaiah 6:8)

It is in our human nature to want our own way, to win, to get the upper hand, to fight and scratch – surrender does not come naturally. But we can choose to let Jesus be Lord and walk worthy (Ephesians 4:1) or we can continue to try to have things our own way.

Now just because there is complete surrender doesn’t mean things will be rosy and easy going. It wasn’t for Mary, nor the apostles, nor Isaiah. It probably won’t be for us either – just saying.

In the Old Testament, becoming a servant for life by choice was a one-time decision – once done; it was permanent. For us I think it might be a daily or even moment by moment surrendering of our own will. Intentionally remembering “not my will, but Yours be done.”

It is only surrender that will enable me to follow the direction in Ephesians when sorely tried and without coffee. Something – with the help of my blessings – I get to daily practice.

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you (Ephesians 4:29-32).