The Day Between

Home building

I am blessed with a husband who enjoys the kitchen. He’s the kind of guy who can open the pantry or refrigerator doors, survey the contents, choose a few random items, and put together a meal that folks want to eat. I call this the ex nihilo gifting - making something out of nothing.

I, on the other hand, need a plan and a recipe. Frankly, being in the kitchen has never been my favorite haunt. If the food doesn’t make itself wonderful in the crock pot or cook well frozen, I really don’t want anything to do with it.

Although I appreciate my husband’s prowess in the kitchen, I often feel guilty. My evident failure in this area of domestic engineering, and the obvious fact that my lovely face will never adorn the cover of a Betty Crocker cookbook has led to transient feelings of inadequacy.

After all, good food warms the cockles of the average young man’s heart - and we have plenty of young men around here.  Order and calm, as well, make for a pleasant environment in which to live – something worth striving to achieve.

As Elisabeth Elliot, missionary and author, said in her book Let Me Be a Woman:

The way you keep your house, the way you organize your time, the care you take in your personal appearance, the things you spend your money on, all speak loudly about what you believe. The beauty of thy peace shines forth in an ordered life. A disordered life speaks loudly of disorder in the soul.

How we manage our lives on the outside, even in seemingly small things, is a reflection of what is happening on the inside.

It is difficult to hide what is inside – sooner or later it spills out. What we say, how we behave, it will have an effect on those around us.

As Jesus explained,

The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart (Luke 6:45).

How vital it is that we spend time in the Scriptures daily, seek forgiveness, and listen for His direction. We want to be filled with good treasure. How do we expect God to use us to build on His solid foundation if we have no tools?

As it states in Proverbs:

By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established, and by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches (Proverbs 24:3-4).

Using synonyms for the Hebrew words this could be paraphrased as:

With shrewd prudence a family is constructed, and with skillful reasoning and discernment the children obtained are made ready, and with concern for truth and premeditation the inmost parts are made complete and satisfied, filled with a sufficiency that is rare, splendid, weighty, lovely, and costly.

The making of a home – the establishing of a family, seems to require a little more than good meals and brilliant organizational skills.

Most days it takes a little more than anything I have within me. Raising a family – making a home, is not for the faint-hearted. At times it can feel daunting, the weight of responsibility that comes with training a child in the way he should go.

But we aren’t expected to bear that burden on our own shoulders according to the psalmist:

Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain (Psalm 127:1).

There are things we can control and things we can’t. The tasty dinner, the orderly home, the sound doctrine, the kind teaching, the godly discipline, the words of wisdom, the steadfast consistency – these things we must strive to provide, but it’s the Lord that must build the house.

Again, quoting Elisabeth Elliot, Obedience is our business; the results of that obedience is God’s business.”

Obedience and results – we think one leads to the other, but that isn’t always the case. We need to do what we should - we are responsible for our actions and attitudes – not anyone else’s. In fact, one day we will give an accounting for those same attitudes and actions – even every careless word. We are not responsible, however, for the responses, interpretations, or disapproval that may occur because of our attempt to be obedient to what we believe God requires of us.

In the book of Proverbs wisdom is personified as a woman who has built her house, prepared her table, and invited the naïve - the inexperienced or unsophisticated to partake of the riches she offers. “Come, eat of my food and drink of the wine I have mixed. Forsake your folly and live, and proceed in the way of understanding (Proverbs 9:5-6).”

As the old saying goes, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink!” 

Lady Wisdom’s guests are invited, welcomed, and strongly encouraged to attend – but they are not forced to come. Likewise, our obedience to God, our following of the teachings of Jesus, our listening to that still small voice, as poor as we are at it, is a witness to those around us – they are not compelled to respond to it positively.

As Lady Wisdom warns,

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For by me your days will be multiplied, and years of life will be added to you. If you are wise, you are wise for yourself, and if you scoff, you alone will bear it (Proverbs 9:10-12).

Scoffers will scoff – but that’s not our problem. Whether we like it or not, feel competent or not, think we are worthy or not – we are His witnesses. Obey what He is telling you today, and let Him handle the results.