The Noise from Somewhere in the Basement

The Noise from Somewhere in the Basement

There is a strange noise coming from somewhere in the basement. 

It is an intermittent roaring of water running somewhere. I’m the only one that can hear this rather consistent noise. The five able-bodied, capable men I live with have never heard it and don’t know what I am talking about. Apparently, despite current cultural trends, there are two genders: females with functioning auditory organs and males without such.

In their defense, my two dogs, both female, have not noticed the noise from the basement either. 

My older dog, Charlie, a mixed breed shelter special with unusual skills – like snoring while begging, hearing the sound of a knife and cutting board from a block away, and barking at random squirrels she cannot see while lying on her pillow – has not hearkened to the sound coming from somewhere in the basement. 

My younger dog, Lucy, a beagle/shepherd mix with high energy, fast speed, and an affinity for invisible rabbits is oblivious to that sound coming from somewhere in the basement.

Even when I call out, “There it is!! Don’t you hear it?” All I get are semi-tolerant looks and careless shrugs.

Now, if we didn’t live in a house that has had multiple mysterious and spontaneous leaks, maybe I wouldn’t care about the noise coming from somewhere in the basement.

But our house has the water curse.

There is, indeed, a noise coming from somewhere in the basement. Yet no one has a sense of foreboding!

Maybe they don’t remember when we moved into our lovely domicile, the previous owners, for reasons unknown and unethical, decided to switch the washing machines, running a cycle to be sure the replaced machine worked without putting the drainage hose into the drain. Hence on moving day, a downstairs bedroom was raining.

Not to mention, after the remodel of the raining bedroom, a certain person who hears sounds coming from somewhere in the basement, overflowed the washtub in the laundry room causing said bedroom to rain again.

Then there are the mysterious seeping walls – one finds a spot on the floor that is continually damp – the wall eventually gets removed, the area dried, but the source of the seep remains mysterious! We have three separate walls with removable panels for this exciting activity.

Next, there are the cases of the traveling leaky pipes. Sitting innocently at a desk or lying in bed – there is suddenly a dripping. Part of a ceiling is removed, the pipe is stared at. Our friend, the miracle plumber is called – he merely has to touch the pipe and it is healed – no more leak – yet no source discovered. There are two separate ceilings in our weepy abode with removable panels should the inevitable occur.

I don’t think I mentioned the incredible leaky toilet – the one that had its seal changed five times before the true leak was discovered to be coming from the water heater. Somehow the leak from the water heater seeped through the wall and pooled in such a way to surround the toilet indicating said toilet as the guilty culprit. False accusations are a bear!

But the pièce de résistance occurred about ten years ago at around four in the morning. I awoke to the sound of running water. Curious, I opened the hall bathroom to discover a hot shower spewing from under the sink. I awoke my husband who bravely battled the pipe monster while commanding me to shut off the water. I ran downstairs only to stop in awe at the foot of the stairs by the sight of a steam filled basement with the ceiling coming down over the family computer.

Do you see why dread has come to me over the sound coming from somewhere in the basement?

Ironically, our upright and efficient government requires us to pay flood insurance due to the sin of living about 500 feet from a creek. A creek that overflows its banks a couple of times a year, but has never flooded anyone’s house in the forty years houses have been here. It is the government’s magnanimous method of supporting those who insist on living below sea level in places prone to hurricanes with other people’s money. It never addresses the water curse – only acts of God.

Maybe this is a life lesson – There is a sound coming from somewhere in the basement – either be filled with dread or shrug and deal with the inevitable when it happens.

It could also be an illustration of the differences between the sexes - all two of them. All the above has filled my mind because of a sound coming from somewhere in the basement. A sound my men do not hear and have given no thought to at all.