Family

 

Family

 

How important is the family?

In Paul’s letter to the Colossians, he spends the first two chapters reminding the Colossians of the supremacy of Christ including all Jesus has done for us, what we have in Him, and how not to fall for false teaching. In chapter three, Paul discusses what our lives should look like because of all that Jesus has done for us – the application of our doctrine.

By the time we get to Colossians 3:18-21, the gospel is at home.

Paul’s teaching on the family in Colossians has a parallel in Ephesians 5:22-6:4.

There are studies that state fewer people are getting married today, and for those who do 50% of those marriages are likely to end in divorce.

Yet children raised without both parents are more likely to be poor and participate in criminal activity.

Marriage and family are God’s idea (Genesis 2:24). It’s the first human institution and the best place to raise children.

I’ve heard it said that if we can’t do this Christianity thing at home, what good is it anyway?

What is it like to have a godly family?

Paul tells us:

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting to the Lord.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.

Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this well-pleasing to the Lord.

Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.

No family is perfect, but a Christian family must strive for these characteristics.

One thing I noticed about this passage is the individual commands. Wives, husbands, children, fathers – which actually should be translated parents – are given specific direction that applies to them uniquely.

The wives aren’t told to make sure their husbands love them. Likewise they are not commanded to check his attitude. The husbands aren’t told to make their wives submit. The children aren’t asked to critique their parents on the definition of exasperate, nor are the parents told to harangue the children into obedience.

Each group has its directive. It’s kind of like being told to do your little job.

We run into a lot of trouble in this life trying to make someone else do the job we think they should do. How about we do what we’re supposed to do and let the Lord deal with the other guy?

I find it interesting that wives are first to receive a directive – It’s the same in Ephesians 5:22 and 1 Peter 3:1. Could it be the wife that sets the tone in the home a la “If mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy”?

I know ladies who don’t want to do their part until their husband gets his act together – but this is not a conditional command. Each of us is instructed – it’s not dependent on the other guy.

The word “subject” is a military term – it’s a willing submission, not to men in general but to your own husband which implies a loving relationship. It is “fitting in the Lord” which omits any kind of abuse or sin. As Ephesians 5:22-24 elaborates: The wife’s subjection to her husband is a living example of the church’s relationship to Christ. The wife’s obedience to this command is a testimony to a world that struggles to get marriage right and it flies in the face of our culture.

It is a remarkable thing to contemplate – that our little business is part of a bigger picture.

Is it any wonder that marriage and family are under attack in this world?

We are meant to be different – to stand out – to walk worthy at home.

Husbands are to love their wives – the love here is agape – a continuous, willful, sacrificial love – not a sexual, familial, or friendship love, which you’d expect, but the same love Jesus has for us - again in Ephesians 5:25-26, the husband’s example is Jesus – how He loved the church. While living and loving in this way, the husband is not to become bitter toward his wife – he has to choose to view her correctly, as a fellow heir of the grace of life (1 Peter 3:7).

Children and obedience – it doesn’t have to be an oxymoron although it sure can feel like one in the moment.

They are to obey in everything, so long as their parents aren’t asking them to do something contrary to God’s law. The reason they do this is because their obedience pleases God. This we need to teach them – it’s not because parents are superior or life will have more joy, it’s not even to please parents, but because they please God when they obey.

Obedience is really between the child and the Lord.

The last imperative says Fathers, but is a word used for parents. They are commanded not to exasperate the children, meaning stir up, frustrate, provoke, or nag. We are not to treat our children this way because they will lose heart – become discouraged, despair, be sullen and listless. Parents have to master the art of discipline and encouragement. According to John MacArthur overprotection, favoritism, depreciating their worth, unrealistic goals, failing to show affection, not providing for their needs, a lack of standards, criticism, neglect, and excessive discipline are all ways to exasperate and have no place in our parenting.

It’s good to have something to strive for, isn’t it?

Family – the people we love the most and the ones that make us crazy are the folks God uses to smooth our rough edges and teach us lessons we don’t necessarily want to learn.

What is a godly family?

I imagine each of ours looks different – some may be underwear clad and gassy – but if it’s the one God gave you, do your little job.