Yet Another Stage of Parenting

 

The ironies of living with adult children are manifold. For example, asking where they are going or where they have been gets a response similar to espionage of state secrets. However, if I have left without their notice or permission – it requires multiple texts and calls and inquiries from whomever as to my whereabouts. I don’t presume this urgent desire to know my whereabouts springs from a tender concern for my welfare. I believe it comes, more likely, from annoyance that I am not where they left me. 

As far as duties required when living in a home such as scrubbing a toilet or a bathtub, those are miraculously cleaned by the housekeeping fairy. When it comes to sweeping a floor or vacuuming a rug, it is much easier to leave footprints than to remove them. Simple requests are met with sighs of disgust and an obvious attitude of imposition – after all there are agendas that must be kept – theirs not mine.

What about the dishes you ask, well making them dirty is much more fun than washing them or getting them wet even. As an older, more established independent son quipped, “Mother, you simply must use the dishwasher – it will wash the dishes for you – it’s even in the name!” He made this comment upon noticing the state of affairs in our humble home while visiting for the holidays.

Dishes, as everyone knows, are made from cooking. The more adults in the house, the more people cooking. Kitchen real estate is valuable and unfortunately the largest occupant in the room usually holds mighty sway. Of course, before cooking comes shopping and storing those items – shelves and drawers claimed and gadgets abounding, never mind the array of supplements and protein powder. When does it become appropriate to add an addition to the house to store food?

What about laundry? How long does it take to move a load from one machine to the other? Is it really necessary to balance the load? It must be the machine’s fault that the alarms keep going off after all. Maybe it’s time to buy a new machine – it couldn’t really be user error, could it? Who has used all the laundry detergent!? Tide does not operate like Elijah’s widow of Zarephath’s bowl of flour – someone has to buy more. This also applies to coffee.

Then there are the debates! Educating entrenched adults who have worked for decades, pay all the bills, and have generally practiced being responsible for most of their lives must be frustrating to their progeny. You just can’t teach them anything! Afterall, they have probably casually thought of the topic their young are raising longer than those same young have been alive. It is not easy being twenty something and knowing everything – few appreciate their wisdom, but then they don’t really notice the lack of appreciation because they’re too busy sharing their opinion.

Well, I was pretty much an idiot at that age also. I hope I’ve grown out of it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids – for the most part I like them too. There’s just another whole dimension of parenting that I did not expect. I’ve been a parent for 42 years now – I don’t have any advice or criticism for anyone – it’s a blessing and it’s hard work. The human factor in any situation or stage of life is always an independent variable. The best laid plans are subject to human response and only God knows where that will lead. I guess it’s an adventure.

This verse brings me comfort – When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolation delights my soul (Psalm94:19).

And this one – Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established (Proverbs 16:3).

This as well – Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken (Psalm 55:22).

And – My times are in Your hand… (Psalm 31:15a).

I don’t know of many examples in the Scriptures of parenting adults, but Job comes to mind. He would continually pray and offer sacrifices to the Lord on behalf of his adult children (Job 1:5). There is little in life we can control, but lifting our children up to the Lord in whatever stage of life is one of them.

It won’t balance the washer or clean the dishes but it will put our children in His hand.