The Eggnog Caper

The Eggnog Caper

Have you ever wanted to not get out of bed?  On a quiet morning you think, “It’s relatively quiet.  Maybe no one will notice if I just stay in bed today.”  This is a delusional thought.  The only reason there is quiet at my house in the morning is because my sons’ stomachs haven’t woke them up yet.

 The first thing heard is usually a dog barking or whining.  My room is on the main floor all the way on one side of the house.  The back door is downstairs where three boys sleep on the other side of the house.  Yet no one hears those dogs bark or whine but me.  The old lady who worked until midnight and averages six hours sleep on a good night is known to care for canine needs.  The robust, healthy males with nine hours under their belts could sleep until noon in a crowded basketball stadium that was on fire.

Once I’ve braved the elements and fulfilled my furry friends’ expectations, I make some coffee.  With coffee in hand, I wander to the living room to read my Bible and talk to the Lord.  Hopefully, this will give me the attitude adjustment sorely needed.  This morning, however, there was an incident with eggnog.

One of my sons is up and anxious to tell me about the joys of eggnog.  Apparently, at a youth group event a quart of eggnog was graciously bestowed on us.  I tell my exuberant son, “Yes, I have heard of eggnog.  I’m glad you like it.”  Hoping that this will cause him to be quiet and let me read my Bible.  Disastrously, it causes him to depart and guzzle eggnog. 

In a short time another son appears in the kitchen, and indignantly exclaims, “Who drank all my eggnog!!”   This follows a critique of my parenting and his siblings’ observational skills.  “How could you let him (unnamed brother) drink a quart of eggnog?!?!”

Well, I didn’t “let” my son drink a quart of eggnog.  I was unaware the eggnog was a personal belonging of the aforementioned loud son.  Frankly, I don’t care about eggnog, nor do I see myself as an eggnog policeman.  As far as parenting goes, this provides an opportunity to correct my thunderous son on his behavior in the kitchen, not to mention the volume of his voice. 

Just yesterday I had to mediate over fried chicken.  Before that there was the chocolate chip cookie fiasco.  Very soon there will be a padlock on the refrigerator and the pantry.  This will be catastrophic for my sons, because if they have to wait for me to cook them something they will be hungry, very hungry.

Food seems to be vitally important to most people.  Organic or not, gluten-free or allergen laden, greasy or fat-free, decaffeinated and sugar-free or twice the caffeine and all the sugar, it matters not to my sons, so long as there is an abundance of it!

When dealing with my sons in regard to food numerous sayings come to mind like:

 “Don’t you know there are people starving in a third world country somewhere?!?!”

“Have you heard of portion control?” 

“You’re not going to eat all that are you?”

Better than sayings, Scriptures come to mind:

Better is a dish of vegetables where love is than a fattened ox served with hatred. ~ Proverbs 15:17

Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it than a house full of feasting with strife. ~ Proverbs 17:1

Frankly, I’d be lucky to find a dish of vegetables and a dry morsel after my children got through in the kitchen. 

Somehow food is able to bring out the worst in us.  We have strong opinions about it – and like things just so.  In the hospital where I work, people could be complaining of chest pain, even vomiting – but often their first question is, “When do I get to eat?!”

Now the people became like those who complain of adversity in the hearing of the Lord; and when the Lord heard it, His anger was kindled, and the fire of the Lord burned among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp. ~ Numbers 11:1

The phrase became like those who complain of adversity intrigues me.  Webster says adversity is a difficult situation, misfortune or tragedy.  Some synonyms for adversity are:  woe, trouble, hardship, distress, disaster, suffering, sorrow, misery, tribulation and trauma.

For what exactly? Why were these people complaining in this way?  And why did the Lord respond with such violence?

Food, nourishment, sustenance – they were having a fit over their next meal!

If you are familiar with the story, the Israelites were delivered out of slavery miraculously, guided through the desert by the visible presence of God, provided with bread from heaven and water from a rock.  The Scriptures say their clothes and sandals didn’t wear out – for forty years. 

They were, however, sick of the bread from heaven.  They must have run out of recipes for Manna.  They were discontent and thought they deserved better.  They believed lies.  They were bitter and resentful.  They were discontent and ungrateful.  Their idea of adversity didn’t agree with Webster’s, and they made God very angry. 

God gave them the meat they longed for, and it killed many of them.  The people grumbling and complaining so discouraged Moses, he asked God to take his life.  There are some unintended consequences to discontent and ingratitude.  

It’s contagious.  

It discourages others, making them want to quit. 

It’s always the wrong attitude, the result of believing lies – of thinking that we are not getting what we deserve.  

Truly, if we’re still breathing, we can be thankful. 

The same God who causes the sun to rise every morning with new mercies, graces us with the air to breathe and water to drink, causes His rain to fall on the good and the bad, and abundantly provides for even sparrows  - gets offended when we don’t appreciate what He’s done for us.

What we all deserve is death.  What we can receive is life everlasting - something to think about when someone drinks all our eggnog.