The Day Between

Advice for Sons and Daughters

God has blessed me with nine sons, one daughter, one daughter-in-love, a granddaughter, and brand new grandson.  I often think of things I’d like to say to them, things I want them to remember, things I wish I had known at their ages.  Now Lord willing, I should have another thirty years or so with God’s grace and mercy to share these things.  However, my dad died at the age I am now, so one never knows.  Consequently, I feel an urgency to communicate – I’m just not sure how. 

I imagine they would laugh if I shook their shoulders and exclaimed, “Listen, you have to remember this!  It’s so important!!”  They would wonder what I was so excited about – why I was getting worked up.  They might say, “Gee mom, you worry too much!”

What twenty-something, thirty-something or young-something person likes to listen anyway?  I know for a fact over-forty-something persons don’t listen… Ah well, perhaps humanity is purposely deaf traveling a dangerous road and not heeding the warning signs.  Solomon calls it futility.

Futility – vanities of vanities… Webster defines futile as serving no useful purpose, completely ineffective, occupied with trifles, frivolous.  Silly comes to mind, who wants silly to be a life goal?

At this particular moment in time I seem to be parked in Ecclesiastes.  Somehow it has become a favorite book - written by David’s son Solomon near the end of his life, the wisest man that ever lived.  Of course, that wisdom didn’t always serve him well – wisdom isn’t apparently a preventative medicine for choosing not to be foolish.  So at the end of his life he offers a book of advice – not only of what his wisdom has shown him, but what his experience revealed to him.  I particularly like chapter nine.

For I have taken all this to my heart and explain it that righteous men, wise men, and their deeds are in the hand of God.  Man does not know whether it will be love or hatred; anything awaits him (Ecclesiastes 9:1).

The first thing I want my kids to know is that being a Christian is no guarantee their life will be easy or free of trouble.  On the other hand, being sure that your life is in the hand of God brings comfort during the inevitable trials of life.  There is rest in knowing that the things we go through have a purpose, are for our good, and in our Sovereign God’s control.

What shall we say to these things?  If God is for us, who is against us?  He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things?  God is the one who justifies; who is the one who condemns?  Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us.  Who will separate us from the love of Christ?  Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? (Romans 8:31-35)

Some of my children have embraced my faith and made it their own; others have rejected it entirely and just don’t want to be bothered hearing about it.  Some want to live their lives their own way and not be restrained by ‘Christian values’.  They want their lives ruled by what they think is right.  They don’t need that ‘old time religion’ and some dusty book on which to base their morals.  They don’t seem to understand that true freedom lies in that faith they’re ignoring.  They don’t seem to know that it’s better to ride life’s roller coaster in the hands of God than on our own.

Back in chapter nine of Ecclesiastes Solomon shares what he has seen under the sun – things good to remember and practice:

Go then, eat your bread in happiness and drink your wine with a cheerful heart; for God has already approved your works.  Let your clothes be white all the time, and let not oil be lacking on your head…Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might…the race is not to the swift and the battle is not to the warriors, and neither is bread to the wise nor wealth to the discerning nor favor to men of ability…Moreover, man does not know his time (from Ecclesiastes 9:7-12).

I find great freedom in this section.  Bad things will happen in this life.  There will be decisions to be made, questions that need to be answered, battles to fight.  If we belong to the Lord, there is freedom to enjoy the journey come what may.  We can be cheerful in heart, enjoying the bread and wine – the daily struggles and joys of our life.

I’d like to tell my children that we need to be righteous and wise and rest in the hand of God.  This only happens with salvation in Jesus Christ. 

Romans 5:6-11 says, For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.  For one will hardly die for a righteous man; though perhaps for the good man someone would dare even to die.  But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.  Much more then, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from the wrath of God through Him.  For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.  And not only this, but we also exult in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

The only way we become righteous is through Jesus.  He makes us that through faith – we can’t do it ourselves.  Wisdom is different; however, that we pray for – James 1:5 – But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given him.

I’ve known several foolish Christians in my time – in fact, I’ve often been a foolish Christian.  Wisdom is a daily prayer not a one shot deal.  It accompanies daily Bible reading, self-examination, repentance, and actively seeking after God.  Even so, Solomon warns in clear terms that we don’t know the road before us.  We are not to sit and brood, but to live.

He who watches the wind will not sow and he who looks at the clouds will not reap.  Just as you do not know the path of the wind and how bones are formed in the womb of the pregnant woman, so you do not know the activity of God who makes all things.  Sow your seed in the morning and do not be idle in the evening, for you do not know whether morning or evening sowing will succeed, or whether both of them alike will be good (Ecclesiastes 11:4-6).

Youth is indeed fleeting.  We aren’t given enough time to waste it with navel gazing, complaining, and being generally miserable.  I’d like to tell my children to just be happy – find joy and be thankful for the life God has graciously given them.

The light is pleasant, and it is good for the eyes to see the sun.  Indeed, if a man should live many years, let him rejoice in them all, and let him remember the days of darkness, for they will be many…Rejoice, young man, during your childhood, and let your heart be pleasant during the days of young manhood.  And follow the impulses of your heart and the desires of your eyes.  Yet know that God will bring you to judgment for all these things.  So, remove grief and anger from your heart and put away pain from your body, because childhood and the prime of life are fleeting (Ecclesiastes 11:7-8a, 9-10).

I’d like to tell my children that they are free – no worries.  They can be who they are – who God made them to be.  They can relax.  However they choose to live they need to know that the Lord sees all the sons of men…He understands all their works (from Psalm 33:13-15).  No one lives isolated from others.  Each of our lives has an effect on those around us for good or evil, to encourage or dishearten, for life or death.  Our lives matter – how do we want it to affect others – with joy or grief?

Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near when you will say, “I have no delight in them…” (Ecclesiastes 12:1)

I’d like to tell my children that there is nothing more important than what they choose to do with Jesus.  It will determine the course of their life and how content they are in it.  It will be the difference between life and death.

The conclusion, when all has been heard, is:  fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person.  For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil (Ecclesiatstes 12:13-14).

I would tell them, choose life.